Recently, I sent out on Twitter this message: “It often feels that our most difficult battles are not with others but rather with ourselves. I am my harshest critic and fiercest opponent.” I was encouraged to write a post elaborating on this message. The past few months have been very difficult, stressful, and just plain annoying to live through. In the last week or two, it seems that things have gotten even more difficult. I have been fighting off such strong discontentment in where I am in my life, that most days leave me feeling emotionally and mentally exhausted. The last few days have been especially trying.
In the midst of these somewhat agonizing times, I have realized once again that there is often no one to blame for the place that I am in other than myself. I despise when people tell me that I am wrong or attempt to correct my ways. I am already so hard on myself that these critiques often brew anger and resentment on my part. But the greatest battle I have faced in recent days, is that of discontentment. I constantly tell myself that things should be better than they are. I feel that I am always looking for a way out of the monotony I feel I have gotten myself into. This is when Satan seems to attack with the most force. It is in that moment when I lack peace that I am most vulnerable to fall into his grasp.
A couple of evenings ago, I was in the midst of one of my mental battles of discontentment when these words came across Twitter: “Does there ever come a time when you say to yourself, I have what I need! Isn’t there always something bigger and better?” I stated after reading that tweet, “I am constantly amazed when God uses the most unlikely person to bring me much needed words of wisdom!” You see, that message had come from a source of discontentment in my life. It was then I was reminded of a quote by the great C. S. Lewis: “If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.” Desires that only God can fulfill, peace that only He can provide. If I link myself to the One who holds the future and has the perfect plan for my life, I need never to worry about whether or not I am in the place that I should be. As long as I follow after Him and seek to do His perfect will, God will provide exactly what I need though not always in the timing that I would like.
God never promised that life in this world would be easy. On the contrary, He said this life would bring trouble. Discontentment is a part of that trouble. As long as I look for ways to solve problems on my own, I will always meet with discontentment. But the moment I come back to my senses and realize that God holds the future, my future, it is then I feel His peace sweep over me. God’s plans for my life may not always be what I want, but I know that He is sovereign, and He will overcome!
